Biofeedback Lab

Someone told me I should check out the biofeedback lab on campus. It's a place where they can test your stress levels and whatnot and help you learn strategies to deal with your stress and anxiety in healthy ways. I scheduled the appointment like, a month ago, so I've been thinking about it forever. And as I'm sitting outside the room, waiting to be called in, I start freaking out. I wanted to run away from there. I was like, there's no way I'm going into this unknown awkwardness. I don't want weird things attached to me, I don't want to do weird relaxation crap... AHHH!

But then the guy came. He was pretty nice. We talked about what stress is, I told him some of my main concerns and a little about myself, and then he did a brief overview of some of the strategies I can learn there. I picked breathing because I figured it's the easiest one for me to do at school when I'm stressed.

So he hooks my EAR up to this machine to test my heart rate (go figure). Apparently I have a healthy heart (yay!). Then we had to figure out my breathing habits. There was this little mountain-looking graphic with a moving ball on it displayed on the computer screen. I had to breathe with the moving ball, and it was really frustrating. The inhaling, holding, and exhaling were all too long! He kept changing the numbers and finally decided that 6-6.5 breaths a minute would be optimal for me, BUT EVEN THAT'S TOO HARD.

The lab guy was shocked that I was struggling so much. After all, I breathed very evenly and was successful with the diaphragm exercises earlier (I attribute both of those to band). But my normal breathing is apparently super fast and super shallow--the kind of breathing that people do when they have in-the-moment anxiety, like when a bear is about to attack you. The weirdest thing is, I don't remember ever breathing differently... I've always breathed like this, I think... Either way, my breathing is messed up, apparently, and I need to train myself to breathe differently. AHH. Really? How hard is this going to be? How long is this going to take?

And now I'm all paranoid about my breathing. I've been thinking about it all day. And it's weird to notice yourself breathing all day. Trust me.